Friday, March 9, 2007

I'm doing it for my country.

My fellow citizens:


I just wanted to take a brief moment to reiterate my commitment to working for a better New York and a better America. I have worked tirelessly on my campaign, and I shall work tirelessly once elected. In order to prove my commitment, I feel like I should recount a recent event in my life.


While preparing a case for the DA's office, I came across evidence of money laundering. This is money that was stolen from you, the hard working citizens of this state. At great personal risk to myself, I felt I should confront these thugs. Sadly, I met with some opposition... I was fortunate to slip past these men unharmed.









However, when I arrived at my hotel room, I had a run in with someone I had met in the past. She was willing to go for my manhood if I didn't give her what she wanted. Fortunately what she was after was easy to provide.





It was a sacrifice to give myself in this manner, but I do it for you…The good citizens of my state, and when elected, I plan on giving it to each of you personally. Oh, Sylar, if the future proves me to be a democrat, we may have something to talk about.

6 comments:

hoxharding said...

Wow-you are a true leader!

Nathan Petrelli said...

Why...Thank You...I was born and bred for leadership. VOTE PETRELLI

Em said...

LOVE YA, NATHAN! I considered applying to marry your brother, however as I live on the other side of the country I'm not sure it would work out. Oh well.

VOTE PETRELLI!

Nathan Petrelli said...

Thank you Em. I appreciate your support.

D.L. Hawkins said...

YO!!!!

WHERE YOU AT, BOY! I'M COMING FOR THAT @#$#@$#@@#$#@$#@#$@# ASS OF YOURS, YOU #@$#@$@#$@# $@#$@#$#@$@$ @#$@#$@$@#$@ #$@#$@#$@#$@#$#@$@ #$@#$@#$#@$@#

Nathan Petrelli said...

Mr. Hawkins:
Such things you say. I feel we are becoming close. Clearly we have a lot in common.

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