Thursday, March 1, 2007

Bad Day

Thursday, 8:00 pm

What a day I’ve had...Whew…It started this morning when I overslept. I jumped out of the bed and ran to the shower. It was then that I noticed my little Buddy was staring at my feet instead of my beautiful face. (When I say little, it’s just figurative. It’s more like Oh My God Buddy, but I don’t like to brag...I am very humble...Anyone who receives a paycheck from me will tell you.) Well, I don’t want to go into details about that because it didn’t last long…I only mention it now to indicate how my day started off bad…You know what........ just forget that last part. Let me start again. I had a bad day today...

Since I was running so far behind, I had to stop at a drive thru for breakfast. I ordered a coffee. The young girl at the window was so enamored of my chiseled features that she dropped the coffee on me, forcing me to return home to change clothes. By the time I changed, I was running so far behind I had to “fly” to campaign headquarters.

When I arrived at my campaign headquarters, I had several messages waiting for me. I cringed when I saw the first was from the NYPD. As I called my contact there, I wondered if this was a Peter problem or a Mother problem. This time it was my Mother. I rush down to the station and bailed her out for shoplifting, AGAIN. I asked her, “What did I ever do to you? You can’t still be holding a grudge for 32 hours worth of labor.” She just flipped her stupid hair, that must be where Peter gets it, and laughed at me like it was a joke. As we left the police station, I called headquarters. Just as I had suspected, the press had already got the story on the wire. I was 4 points behind as of yesterday. I don't know that I can get enough money from Linderman to bail me out this time.

Of course the story doesn’t end there, while I was bailing out Mother, Peter left me a voice mail to meet him at his apartment. God…What now?? When I arrived at his apartment, he wasn’t there. Great!! As I turned to leave the apartment, I was attacked by… nothing… No…Crap…It was Peter. The little snot has learned how to make himself invisible. I hope he isn’t planning to tell anybody about that…This is great, just great. The election is in a few days, Mother is getting arrested, and Peter is wasting my time playing hide-and-seek. Will he ever just grow up? He acts like I have it all. You know I wouldn’t mind living in Peter’s shoes for a while. It must be nice to quit your job and daydream about saving the world all day long. Maybe I want to sleep late, mope around, & grow effeminate hair…lol, lol, lol. Who am I kidding? I am so gorgeous I want to kiss my own face in the mirror. Plus one day, I will rule…I mean run this country.

Well I must go for now. Remember we must stay the course. Blah, blah, blah…Vote Petrelli

3 comments:

D.L. Hawkins said...

Nathan, right? Hmmmm...wonder if your the same Nathan my wife mutters about in her sleep...

Nahhhh couldn't be.

Puppet Master said...

Abnormaly Good Looking? Well you're okay, but your brother Peter, now he is gorgeous. And his hair only adds to his appeal, as I want to run my fingers through it as I ... well, you get the idea. Tell him I said so, IF you see him.

Nathan Petrelli said...

Mr. Hawkins:

Thank you for visiting my site. Are you a NY resident. Your vote could make the difference.

Don't worry about your wife muttering my name in her sleep. I am incredibly good-looking. Women often fantasize about me. If it gets her reved up and happy for you, then you should be extra grateful.

Puppet Master:

I must confess that your taste in men is questionable. However, you have come to the correct person if you want to hook-up Peter. I am in control of Peter's life, and I will decide who he dates and who he marries. You may submit a formal statement of intent to me. Make sure the statement answers the following questions. What type of family do you come from? Are you old money or new money?

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